Tuesday, July 19, 2011


Well Ive been asked to update my blog. So here I am. We are doing great. Tys loving the summer and getting to go alot more being that hes older now. He Just got back from the beach, and he told us it was the trip of a lifetime..lol! Hes funny...Hes getting closer to 6 and I cant believe it, I want him to stay little :( He starts kindergaen August 23.

Life is great but right now I will say that I'm struggling pretty badly with this month. July 29Th will be Jackson's 2ND birthday. How did that happen?! I'm happy I have him even if not in my arms, but my heart is just hurting. I hate getting on here and crying about things, but i don't talk about it to friends so this helps a little i suppose. We always hurt, don't get me wrong...if you have ever lost a child, husband, wife, someone really close you,a person you had to have, you understand what i say when i say, just the smell, feeling, heat weather, holidays, anything that goes along with the month of July and August brings me back to Jackson times. So i believe for the rest of my life these months will be hard. No matter how hard I try to stay positive and to have short thoughts about Jackson during these months, I cant. It doesn't help. I'm not a good wife right now, this i know for sure. I mean I'm not out doing anything...I just cant cook, don't feel like cleaning and want to be alone at night. I have lumps I'm my throat all day everyday when talking to people...Reason y....because I'm keeping myself from crying..i don't even know what for sometimes. My mind just knows and remembers this time of year. I have come to find out that crying doesn't help alot of things so i don't let myself do it often, but tonight my lump broke and well here i am blogging. Its not easy making it look easy right now, if you know what i mean.

I thank God for all of my friends I have made and I thank you all for always praying and supporting us. Here is our 4th Of July picture.