Thursday, September 10, 2009

Good Bye


Well sorry I haven't put up the pics yet, I can't find the cord to my camera. I'll have them up soon. I just wanted to thank everyone for their sweet comments, they really do help me. I read the most amazing words, they really lift me up. This week has probably been the hardest week I've had since losing Jackson. I have been more depressed then ever thought possible. I've come on this blog and vented enough though so i didn't want to get on here and be a downer for anybody else. I know some of my blog followers haven't had their babies yet, and they are scared to death. I don't want to freak them out anymore. This post is really just to let everyone know I don't think I'll be doing my blog any longer, besides the slide show and pictures I will be posting. I feel that Jackson's journey is over, and well as for Rob and I we have an extremely long rough road ahead of us, but we have to be ok. I don't want to depress people and I have no baby to update on now. I so very much wish that this blog wasn't ending and I had Jackson to update on, but the truth is I don't and it saddens me to get on her and write when i thought i would be writing about jackson Mac Beal forever on here. I love my baby boy and always will! He will always be in my heart, and I'll never forget the 10 most wonderful days of my life with my second born son baby jackson. He has touched so many people, and helped me understand how precious life really is. Jackson is my son, and unless you have lost a child nobody will ever understand the most awful pain that a person can mentally endure, but the pain is worth it just to have had Jackson for the 10 days that i did. I would go through my awful labor being care flighted, more labor, and then a c section again just to have those 10 days of my baby boy. I so wish it could have been forever but god had other plans. Thank you all for your support and kind words.
Candice Brooke


  1. We were so sorry to hear the awful news about your precious baby boy, we want you to know the we are all thinking about you. My daughter Kerri and her husband Philip lost baby Evie Grace on 10th August to the same horrible birth defect and are equally devastated, we as a family all are. All I can add is that although they are not here with us in person their little spirits are around us all the time, will forever be a part of our families and we'll never forget them.We wish you and your family peace in the future.

  2. Wishing you all the best!
    Take care of yourselves, we're here if you ever need us!

  3. Thank you for sharing your life and Jackson's with us. We are followers through Maxton Sandifer's blog. We will continue to pray for you and your family.
    The Waltons
    Indian Wells, Ca

  4. Shawn and I will never understand the pain you and Rob are going through. And we will never try to pretend either. Y'all are such a strong couple, and have been through way more than you should. We will be in touch through texting and phone calls. But, in the meantime, please know that you are a strong woman. We will continue to pray for you and your family. We love you so much!!!


  5. I am sorry that this journey came to such a short end. Your Jackson touched me so deeply. I pray for your strength and peace. I also pray for your healing.
    Jackson will never be forgotten by this complete and total stranger. He is an amazing baby boy.
    Good Bye.

    God Bless all the CDH babies/families.

  6. Candice

    I am so so sorry about baby Jackson. After reading your last post I feel like I could have written it myself, it summarizes exactly how I feel. Hopefully this pain will get easier with time, it makes me so sad to know that other people have to go through this also.

    I would love to keep in touch but will not be updating my blog again either, my email is

    Thanks for getting in touch and it would be great to hear from you again.

    Lots of love
    Kerri (Evie Burnside's mummy) xoxox

  7. thank you for sharing your heart with us. cant wait to see the pictures of your beautiful boy...I will still check in here and hopefully you will pop in every now in then so we can see how YOU and your family are. Love and prayers....

  8. Candice--
    I understand how you feel. I had a care page set up for my baby girl, Sylvia, who is lost to cdh also. There came a point and I had to quit visiting that site. It made me so sad to go there. So, I created a new blog that I'm trying as a therapeutic venture. It is about living in the face of loss. If you are interested, please feel free to check it out..I am with you in your pain. I still write about my pain on this blog although I set it up hoping I wouldn't do this. Us cdh angel moms can't help but miss our babies! In the words of Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry becuase it's over; smile because it was." Easier said than done although I'm trying to get to this point. I think of you often. Jackson was and is one amazing little warrior angel! And you are one amazing and devoted mommy!
    Much love,
    Beth Houselog
    Care page: babysylvia