Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Life today

I just thought i would finally post my slide show of Jackson. I hope everybody is doing great. I miss waiting for Jackson to get here, those were happy times, I thought everything would be fine. I loved doing my little blog. I know some of yall would love to know what we're doing now, as well as how we're doing. Well It's alot harder then i thought it would be to tell the truth. I mean the first week after Jackson was gone it was so terribly hard, but i was still in shock and didn't really realize that we would never see Jackson again. Now that it's sunk in and I'm in reality it's very difficult. I'm ok i suppose but still in need of lots of prayers. Today has been one of those really hard days and I can't seem to make myself see that it's going to be ok. I know this day will end and tomorrow will probably be better, but just because i have to make it better. Today was one of those days were i didn't want to hide my pain, or make it better, or even feel good. Sometimes you just have to have those days. I am not the same person that i was before and never will be, I hope to become a better person because of this. Rob is doing pretty good. He's still at the same job and we're still happy has ever. I tell him all the time that if i didn't have the happiness between us that i wouldn't have been able to make it through the loss of Jackson. I have truly found my soul mate. Thank you all for being a part of our life's. p.s. Ty is doing wonderful too!


  1. Dear Candice,
    I have been following your blog since this summer when we found out our baby had CDH. When your sweet Jackson passed away I was just heart broken for you and have been praying for you and will continue to pray for you. I can't imagine the ache that you must have and I just pray for God's continued comfort -- a comfort that only He can bring. As I type this I'm sitting on the 12 floor of Children's. I knew that you had decided to stop blogging, but thought I would check anyway and I was so happy to see your video of your beautiful boy. Our baby girl is also here and currently on ECMO (day 20) and I recognized so many familiar things from your video. In fact Ralph was our ECMO tech today :) Thank you for sharing your heart here on this blog. Praying for God's continued comfort to you and your family.

  2. OMG! your at Childrens in Dallas? well i would love to talk to the way we got Jacksons Autopsy back.....Is Doctor Kernie your doctor there? Tell him I said Hi....he remembers us.....

  3. Hi Candice, Yes, we are at Children's in Dallas. In fact, Ralph is here running the ECMO pump and he said what a sweet, sweet family you guys are :) You can e-mail me any time -- -- and we can exchange phone numbers. I don't think I know Dr. Kernie. We have Dr. Thompson and absolutely LOVE her! Our family blog is and we update their about our daughter, Anne Marie.
    Praying for you!

  4. can you do me a fav and tell Ralph that there was a 4 to 5cm clot in the cannula that was formed the night they stitched it in. So Jacksons body was trying to fight that clot the whole time and it just grew bigger and bigger and got a staph infection from the clot and that is why he didn't make it. The clot also prevented the ecmo to do it's full job, he never got the full flow. Thats why jackson went through 5 machines in 10 days. Ralph had told us that they probably needed to take Jackson in and open him up to see if there was a clot that they couldn't see. and that is just what it was. The Autopsy showed Jackson to have pretty big lungs and a good amount of air sacks. The Dr did tell me after looking at the autopsy that Jackson should have made it but things do happen like this often.....If they would have found that clot Jacksons Hypertension would have not been bad.....bla bla much more. It was very hard to read all of this...but i will be praying for you and your precious little girl! I"m going to your blog right now!